Chasing acceptance

So my path has been pretty rocky but I have come a long way. My confidence has skyrocketed, my happiness is at an all time high. And overall I'm just feeling really good about me. I can say I am genuinely happy most of the time.

But of course with every journey, you are going to hit a wall and my wall has nothing to do with making myself happy, because I can do that quite easily. My wall is something that has stemmed from my childhood. For whatever reason I have a hard time thinking people accept me and I have a hard time believing I can make people happy. I'm trying to get to the root of this because this is definitely my biggest insecurity. I like me in fact I love me. I enjoy my own company so why wouldn't anyone else?

I have to stay positive and realize I'm pretty amazing. People will like me for me and if they don't that's not my fault. I think because of this insecurity I have sort of cut myself off from people so I don't have to deal with being rejected by them. All the what ifs and negative thoughts about not being able to make someone happy has stopped me from doing just that. You can't make other people happy, you can't bring positivity to other people's lives if you're cooped up being negative in your room.

So this is my plan, from this day forward, I will go into every social situation with the confidence that everybody needs to meet me, everyone wants to be my friend instead of thinking I can't make anyone happy so I'll just sit here alone. I know I have a lot to offer and some of the people I have actually let into my life have shown me own inner beauty.

This journey started off as an investment in my own happiness but now that I have achieved that, there is so much more to life than just being able to make yourself happy. Sure your happiness shouldn't depend on other people but your happiness should be shared with other people.  Believe in yourself and believe that people need and want you around. Believe that you have something to offer that is so unique, so different,  and so wonderful it cannot be something you just keep to yourself.

Now is your chance to really influence the world. Imagine the lives you can change with your positivity! Go out there,  you are too awesome to keep it to yourself. And don't be scared of rejection, some people just don't need what you have to offer and that's okay just know that there are more people out there that do. I hope everyone is staying positive and I hope this brings some more positivity to your life. Just know no matter where you are in your journey, you are worth it. Invest in yourself,  invest in your own happiness, and love yourself unconditionally. You are amazing! Spread the love and positivity!

Casita

When in doubt, blog it out

This will probably be my most vulnerable post, but I figure if I'm sharing my journey I can't just show you the good parts, I have to show you the bad too.

So it looks like my funk has continued it's streak, all do to too much time on my hands and over thinking. I'm basically hurting myself with my own thoughts, it's quite sad. Anyways I've been thinking about love, I'm a hopeless romantic,  big emphasis on the hopeless. But I started thinking about my past and it seems that every time a relationship ends, my exes find happiness, I decided I must be the lesson giver. They always learn from me. Which in a way makes me feel good, I want my exes to be happy, I want them to find the one. But of course I can't help but think, where is my one?

I've found happiness within myself and I do know how to be alone but it is only human to want and need love. Every one tries to tell you that it's okay to be alone and you don't need anyone,  which to a certain extent is true but I truly think we were made to give and receive love. There is nothing wrong with wanting love. The problem is when we try to get it from the wrong people or try to get it to replace self love.

But anyways I'm over thinking all this madness and it makes me sad. I wonder when it will be my time. I see all these people in love and it makes me happy for them honestly but it makes me think about my situation. I'm a person who will give all my love to someone,  no holding back, I'm scared to be vulnerable, but I'll do it for love. And to think I've done that a couple of times in my life and it hasn't worked out. Makes me wonder if my love is not enough.

So I sit here wondering which digs a deeper hole. I know I'll get out of it but there's a reason for this and I'm trying to figure it out. Blogging does help though. Not sure if you guys will care for this, but this was more for me than anyone.

Casita

Funk-adelic

So lately I've been in a funk. Just a lot of things piled up on my plate that have really deterred me from the path of positivity. This whole week,  negative thoughts have crept in my mind and as much as I tried to keep them out, they wouldn't go away.

Today I hit rock bottom or at least very close. I decided I needed some alone time with God. When I get like this I go to the beach, what a better way to spend time with Him than to visit one of His most beautiful creations, other than myself lol jk.

So I'm sitting there most likely looking crazy and balling my eyes out. I've been holding so much inside, something I suggest you do not do. You have to let things out before they drive you insane!!!! But anyways, I'm sitting at the beach feeling pretty darn hopeless. I watch the waves crash into one another and finally it occurs to me, no matter the situation, God wants you to pull through. He wants you to overcome the toughest of situations and He wants you to be happy while you do it.

Things might be incredibly rough, in fact there were times this week where I did not want to go on but why? I deserve happiness and so do you. It was my own thoughts creating my sadness so it can be my own thoughts creating my happiness as well. It all seemed so clear, I almost felt crazy for not thinking of it before. It was so simple. And just like that I was feeling better about myself. And as if to say everything was going to be okay, the mist from the waves crept up and washed away my tears. I know everything is going to be alright. And whether you believe in God or not, everything is going to be fine. Funks happen to everyone,  it's how you overcome them that determines your happiness. Choose happiness people,  it will be the best choice you have ever made. 

Casita