This will probably be my most vulnerable post, but I figure if I'm sharing my journey I can't just show you the good parts, I have to show you the bad too.
So it looks like my funk has continued it's streak, all do to too much time on my hands and over thinking. I'm basically hurting myself with my own thoughts, it's quite sad. Anyways I've been thinking about love, I'm a hopeless romantic, big emphasis on the hopeless. But I started thinking about my past and it seems that every time a relationship ends, my exes find happiness, I decided I must be the lesson giver. They always learn from me. Which in a way makes me feel good, I want my exes to be happy, I want them to find the one. But of course I can't help but think, where is my one?
I've found happiness within myself and I do know how to be alone but it is only human to want and need love. Every one tries to tell you that it's okay to be alone and you don't need anyone, which to a certain extent is true but I truly think we were made to give and receive love. There is nothing wrong with wanting love. The problem is when we try to get it from the wrong people or try to get it to replace self love.
But anyways I'm over thinking all this madness and it makes me sad. I wonder when it will be my time. I see all these people in love and it makes me happy for them honestly but it makes me think about my situation. I'm a person who will give all my love to someone, no holding back, I'm scared to be vulnerable, but I'll do it for love. And to think I've done that a couple of times in my life and it hasn't worked out. Makes me wonder if my love is not enough.
So I sit here wondering which digs a deeper hole. I know I'll get out of it but there's a reason for this and I'm trying to figure it out. Blogging does help though. Not sure if you guys will care for this, but this was more for me than anyone.
Casita
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