Rejection

Now even though you're on this quest for positivity that doesn't mean rejection isn't a part of it all. Although, at the time rejection may seem bad, it is all for the greater good. That's not to say it doesn't hurt like heck.

I think when we feel rejected, we start to question our worth. We think, well that job didn't want me so there must be something wrong,  or that person didn't want me so there is definitely something wrong with me. But why? Why does someone else's opinion of us determine our own opinion of us. Sure it hurts, sure it sucks especially if that's what you really wanted but it's not the end of the world. And really it isn't! Life really does go on. Pain is temporary. And easier said than done, you will get over it.

Now recently I've had my own share of rejection. The past month I've felt like everything I do is wrong. And of course it hurts. I try to stay positive but hey it's a sucky feeling to be rejected. But I think about it and being rejected does not determine my worth. Being rejected does not determine who I am as a person. I determine who I am. I determine if I'm going to be positive or negative and I determine my own happiness. I can sit here being sad about someone not liking me or I can get up and move on with my life. Not everyone is going to like you. Not every job or relationship is going to work out but that doesn't change how awesome you are unless you let it. I think the worst rejection is the rejection you receive from yourself, when you choose to be negative.

And yeah there will be pain, that's inevitable. I wake up everyday and think, am I going to let the pain control my life or am I going to take control today? Because to be honest some days I just really want to stay in bed and cry. And in the past I've done that before, but that didn't make me feel any better. So I've tried many different things and the best one is being positive, even when it's hard. Seriously that fake it 'till you make it thing is real. Eventually you'll realize you aren't even faking it anymore.

Things will get easier I promise. Take each day one day at a time. Things get better with time.

One thing I've noticed, is the more I reach out to people with positivity and love, the better I feel. You have to give what you want in order to receive it. Chin up, you're awesome.

Casita

Let it Go

Something I've had a hard time dealing with is letting things go. For some reason I hold onto things. But really think about it, what is the point?  You holding onto something or hating someone doesn't hurt them any. In fact, it eats you up, while they are perfectly fine. I can't stress enough how important it is to let it go, don't dwell, don't hate, don't be bitter. Those things will really mess you up. And in order to have a positive life and positive mentality, those things need to go. There should be so much positivity that those things have no room in your life.

But I know, it's much easier said than done, I let them control my life for the past two years and I was so miserable. Negativity controlled my thoughts, but I don't want that anymore. I think one of the first things you have to get down to is why do you feel so bitter or jealous? What is the root of everything?  Is it a person? Maybe you need to distance yourself. I know I did. I was such an angry person,  I felt like a monster. And you also have to be able to deal with your pain in a better way. Maybe join a gym or a rugby team. Being bitter and envious isn't helping anything. Maybe you need to forgive someone,  but you really have to forgive them in your heart, don't fake it. And once you forgive them the past is the past. If you can't let that go, maybe you have to separate yourself from the situation. Sometimes we need some time alone to become clear headed about things.

The most important thing is you also have to forgive yourself. If there is anything you blame yourself for, you need to let it go. You will not be able to reach that positive point in your life if you are always harboring all this hatred. And of course like everything else, this will take time and work. You have to be willing to want to change. Some people will hold onto their grudges until the day they die, but I don't want to go out like that. The only person you are hurting is you so stop. Every negative feeling you decide to hold onto is a roadblock to your potential. Get out of your own way, you are the only one holding you back. The past is exactly that, the past. You've made mistakes,  so have other people,  and you and everyone else will continue to make mistakes. It's a part of being human. Just breathe and let out the bad.

Recently I recovered a friendship with someone who really hurt me. I was very bitter and angry with them for a long time. I held onto my hurt way longer than I should have. Eventually I forgave them and got on with my life. Hating them brought me down and I see now how pointless it was. Maybe it will take you a while to forgive someone, it took me almost two years. But once you've done it, it feels amazing.  It is a weight off your shoulders. And if you don't hold onto these negative feelings than hey your awesome and if you do it's okay you're still awesome.  Holding onto these emotions is human, it's working towards letting go of these negative feelings that makes us a much better person than we were before. I hope you can let it all go, not for the other person but for you. You deserve positivity and you deserve to be happy. But you have to choose to want to be happy.

One thing to also keep in mind is life is short, you might be here today and gone tomorrow. And so might that person you hate. I don't know about you but I don't want to regret never being able to tell someone I forgave them. Some food for thought.

Casita

Depression

Most of you don't know this but I have been battling depression and anxiety for about 7 months now. Looking back I think I have been battling it most if my life I was just never diagnosed. Once I was diagnosed, I was given medication to combat it. But on this journey I have really been trying hard not to depend on medication. I don't want to be taking pills the rest of my life to be happy. So I just have it for the really bad days. Although they say depression is an illness, I think there are ways to avoid depression which is what this whole blog is about...POSITIVITY! I know my negative thinking is what got me there, I was always negative and always worrying about things I couldn't change, which is why I have anxiety as well. My doctor even told me, I'm way too young to be worrying so much. All this could easily lead to an early death if I don't stop it now.

For a while I just depended on the pills. I thought if I took one everyday I'd be fine, but that wasn't always the case. Pills won't change your whole aspect on life,  they help a little but in reality you have to do some work to get out of depression. I think the best way to do it, is to find something to hope for. Depression is a loss of hope, feeling like there is nothing to live for anymore. When you have something to hope for, something to strive for, it gives you motivation to do things and in return that makes you happy. Now what you choose to hope for is up to you. Personally I'm working on being a better me and in that I have returned to church. That gives me hope. It might not be the same for you, maybe training for a marathon or saving up to travel or going back to school. Those are all things that could help, you have to choose what you think is best for you.

The worst thing you could do is wallow in your depression. That's what I did at first, I felt bad and I used it as an excuse to stay home all the time and cry. I saw how that ruins relationship,  people don't want to be around someone who's always so negative and sad. In reality I didn't even want to be around me. And every out look I had on life was negative, of course my depression was going to get worse. I wasn't doing anything to try to change it. So the first step is really wanting to change. You have to really want to get out of your depression and live a happy life. I've seen such a difference in just the past few days. I know there will be hard times and it won't be easy being positive all the time but I'm sick and tired of being sad all the time. Who would choose to live a depressed life instead of a happy one?

Of course I can only speak from my own experiences,  I have mild depression,  but I really think it is something people can get over if they really want to. My choice was to not take the medication but that's just me, if it really helps you by all means take it. But the medication won't help anything if you are not willing to change your mind set. And some people are stuck in their ways so it's not going to be an easy feat but I promise you it is a satisfying one.

I was watching a show about optimism. Optimistic people live significantly longer than realists and pessimists. Now think about it, your negative attitude is literally killing you...it's not just about living a happy life, it's about living a healthy one as well. And one last thing before I go...when you have a negative attitude,  your children pay attention to that and they learn that. Imagine your child being just as miserable as you are, is that what you want? Because I know I want my children to be happy and I'll do everything in my power to make it happen.

Keep positive thoughts everyone!

Casita

No Make up Challenge Update

It has been over 6 weeks since I started the no makeup challenge and I succeeded.  I didn't really think it would be as hard for me as it was. But there were times throughout my challenge where I may have had an interview or I just didn't like the way my face looked that day but I told myself I needed to be confident just the way I am.

Did I learn a ton about myself?  Definitely. No amount of makeup can give me or take away my confidence. My confidence comes from within and not wearing makeup made me realize that. I do suggest every girl do this at least once in their life, it really made me appreciate inner and natural beauty. And it's a big money and time saver for sure.

After a while it felt really good getting up in the morning and not worrying about what my face looked like, I stopped over analyzing every blotch, wrinkle, or pimple. It also made me realize I do all that stuff WAY too much. Of course you aren't going to be confident when you point out every single flaw on your face. Stop over analyzing everything and just go out there as confident as can be. Most of the time we notice things about our face that nobody can even really see, we get insecure for no reason. It's sad, we worry about stuff that in reality doesn't matter. So stop worrying,  you look fine, just go out there and live!

Casita

Hey everyone come and see how good I look

I think when we think of loving ourselves, we always think of loving our body and what we see on the outside.  And while that is necessary,  loving yourself consists of the full package,  inside and out. I think we tend to forget that (I know I do) and we think if I just get this body or if I put on this makeup I will love myself. Think about it...no amount of makeup or weight loss/gain is going to make you love yourself completely. I've seen people who were miserable,  lost the weight and were still miserable. Yeah sure, maybe losing weight will make you feel good about yourself no doubt, but don't think that losing weight will solve everything because it won't.

You have to love yourself now no matter what you look like, no matter what version of you, you see in the mirror. Think about all the great qualities you have and if you can't think of any, ask someone close to you. People are friends with you because you benefit their life. When I was feeling down,  I texted my best friend and although it sounded weird,  the answer I received surprised me. I didn't know I made that much of an impact on people's lives. You might not even see the great qualities you bring to the table because the negativity and loathing yourself doesn't allow you to. Of course there are things I need to work on but everyone does. You should always be striving for something more because this allows you to have hope. And having hope brings happiness. But I digress (that is a whole different blog waiting to be written) just know you bring much more to the table than you actually realize.

I dare you to sit down and think of 10 positive things about yourself that have nothing to do with your appearance. Like really really think and periodically add something to the list. I actually wrote down things that I had never really thought of before. I'm not such a horrible person after all haha. But this is when I began seeing how much hating myself was hurting my potential.

Self loathing stunts your growth. You aren't allowing yourself to reach a higher level because all the negativity is bringing you down. And if there is something you may not like about yourself,  there is always room for change but I suggest really looking at why you want to change and do you really think that change will make you a happier person. If you are trying to change to make someone like you, you're going about it all wrong,  the only person that really needs to like you is YOU. Once you start realizing that, the right people will come along.

Positivity can truly change your life but remember loving yourself begins on the inside.

Casita

One day sober

So I'm one day sober from being negative. Of course I have times where negative thoughts creep in but for the most part, I'm doing pretty good.

I've found that speaking less and listening more actually helps a little. When you want to say something negative or something negative creeps in, stay silent think about why do you even need to say that or think that and continue to say my "why not me" motto. It really does help.

And now I'm also seeing how my negative attitude really does affect the people around me. People close to me are either distancing themselves from me or adapting that negative attitude. I don't like it, I would never want other people to be as miserable as I was. So now in this ironic twist of life, I am the one that needs to be positive and lift up everyone else! Now it's not just for me it's for people I really care about.  I have to do this!

Casita

Why not you?

So I just came across the most powerful saying you can repeat to yourself in this journey. Ready for it? It's going to blow your mind!

Why not me?

Yup that's it. Think about it, why not you? You keep thinking negative thoughts about what you can't do or what job you won't get but why? How is that helping with anything?  It's not! And really what valid reasons do you have for what you cannot do. Half the time we compare ourselves to others and think we are somehow inferior to them. And in reality thinking like that does make us inferior. The mind is so powerful and it's sad that a lot of us let negative thoughts control us. But you don't have to live like that, speak positivity into your life and seriously try that saying.  I tried it this morning when I began thinking negatively and when I asked myself that it kind of stunned me, as crazy as it sounds I really didn't have an answer. This whole time I've been beating myself up and comparing and making myself miserable for what? I deserve just as much as the next person and I need to carry myself in that manner. I swear this is a great way to start positive thinking!

Casita

Dedicated to the Bad Days

So all that positivity just a few blogs ago, went right out the window and you know what? That's okay. That's fine, bad days are going to happen, you are going to take five steps forward and three steps back. The most important thing to remember is to continue to keep taking those five steps forward. At that pace, you'll get ahead of the negativity and eventually, loving yourself won't be such a chore. It's hard in the beginning, think about it, you may have been doing this for years, months, weeks, or days. But this has become a habit to you. This is what you dwell on and what you think about all the time. So to stop thinking about it, is going to take time, it is not going to happen overnight and some days aren't going to be so positive but just keep going. Try to stay positive, if you can't, surround yourself with positive people. People's vibes can really effect your own and you'd be surprised how surrounding yourself with awesome people really makes you feel better. So cheer up darling, maybe today was a bad day, but tomorrow will be better, I promise. Just keep moving forward!

Casita

Relationships & loving yourself

In a relationship, a lot of us tend to lose ourselves. Not on purpose or anything just because we forget. We are so intent on loving that other person we forget about our own needs. We forget to love the most important person, ourselves. And that’s exactly why when some relationships don’t work out we are left feeling worthless and unlovable. But those are the exact times when self love is necessary, imagine if we had it all along.

I’ve found that I’m in the situation I am now because I’ve needed self love for so long and God has put me in a situation where it was either learn to love myself or continue being miserable and of course I’m tired of being sad all the time. Who wants to sit around feeling sad, especially a free spirit like me. But I was so used to self loathing it took me so long to realize I deserve to be loved by myself more than anyone.

It’s crazy how such a fucked up situation can change your whole outlook on life and love. I’ve finally come to the conclusion, there are people out there that need my kind of love and I need to stop isolating myself and let ‘em have it lol. There’s someone out there just like me who needs a friend that can love them while they learn to love themselves, so here I am world. Cheesy as this all sounds, I came up with this at 3 in the morning and finally I feel like it all makes sense!

Love thyself

I cannot emphasize how important it is to love yourself, that is the best love you can give and the best love you can receive. No other love from anyone else, no matter how awesome can replace this love. If you do not love yourself, you will feel like something is always missing no matter how awesome your relationship is and this is why some people stray in relationships because they always feel like something is missing, when in reality the thing that is missing is something inside of you. 

I have come to a time in my life where not loving myself has ruined relationships and the ruining of those relationships obviously was not a wake up call until now. I am miserable and no matter the medication or what have you that is given to me, I'm still not happy. And it hit me, I loathe myself. I am my own worst critic to the point where it makes me emotionally unstable. And the crazy thing is that few people know this about me. I'm that fun friend that picks you up when you feel down and just wants to have a good time. The type of friend that sends you encouraging good morning texts to start your day. I'm over here encouraging everyone else in the whole world except me. I told myself I wanted to be a motivational speaker, but wait, I'm over here trying to make everyone else feel good about themselves except for the person that matters the most...ME!

It's almost like I forgot that I'm human, I'm some sort of encouraging robot that just needs some sleep and I'm ready to go. But the best fuel you can feed yourself is love. Love yourself to the point where people think you are arrogant, it is much better than the other side of the spectrum. And some days I wake up with the intent to be positive and uplifting and I do that with everyone else except me...like helllloooooooooo lol. It takes time I know, but you have to start somewhere, today I start with a blog, a few positive quotes, and some uplifting words on my whiteboard. Fake it 'till you make it!

Casita